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John, a poem by anonymous

john

JOHN 

by Anonymous

submitted to GayinBerlin.com on November 12, 2015

 

I will love you anyway.

You don´t have to do anything to earn my love, earn my love.

Just keep on smiling the way you do, when you accidentally concentrate too hard on what you´re doing when I´m talking to you and then you feel bad for not listening.

Go on, go out with her in front of everybody who matters.

Take your alibi, kiss her, spin her around, make her laugh.

I fall into my bed, the images of you and her flashing through my mind.

It´s not real. It can´t be real. It´all for them, I know.

You kiss me hard before she arrives, this is harder for me, you say.

I fall into bed without you.

Images flashing, faster this time.

Your body is beside me, but only in my mind, only in my mind.

I want to hold you, but it´s only in my mind, only in my mind.

I cry out your name, but you´re beside her, beside her.

What are you doing this for?

We promised each other, it would be you and me until the end.

It´s our secret but we´ll survive.

It´s our own secret, but will it survive?

I will love you anyway.

 

***

 

Want to submit your own coming-out story?

Email me at jimmyboy@gayinberlin.com

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